Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
