Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Randomize
