He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
