I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My bed smells like the plague
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize