i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
