You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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