Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
