Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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