so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
