I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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