Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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