dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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