New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
