PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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