Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
