I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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