just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
