I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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