Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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