he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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