I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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