Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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