my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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