I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
