6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
