dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
