Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
