You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
