dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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