i already hear my dad disowning me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize