U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize