Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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