Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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