So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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