All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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