69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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