I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
