party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
