I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
