Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
