Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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