Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
