I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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