What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
