Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize