So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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