does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
