If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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