oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
