Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.

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(713): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.

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(716): View more from New York

i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day

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(208): View more from Idaho

Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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(775): View more from Nevada

Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.

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