So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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