and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
