OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
