I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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