ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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