at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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