He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
