I want to make a zoo with you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
