Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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