He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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