Im at strip club and am horny
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The best revenge is premature balding
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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