Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
