so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
