i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
