I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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